Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
