R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
