hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
