But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
