First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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