Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
