Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
