just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
only if we run a train.
done.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
sex in a hospital.. check
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
