Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
