erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
