I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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