There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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