Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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