in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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