loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
