part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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