He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
