I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
