STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
