I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
only you would photoshop your dick
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
