i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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