Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
