So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
