Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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