Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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