she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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