I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
