Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
