Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
