Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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