Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
