Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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