I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
