No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
