I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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