Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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