Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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