i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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