Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
