hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
