Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
did you just send me my own nude
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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