She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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