i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
