Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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