Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
