Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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