4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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