dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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