i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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