he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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