My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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